Introduction
This is an "abbreviated" version of my story, even though it is kind of long. I share it here so that you have an idea of where I am in the "process" of putting my eating under His Lordship (and leaving it there). I haven't fully achieved this yet, and I still face struggles and I still have weight to loose. But I am moving in the right direction now.
In a way, I would rather keep this journey private for a couple of reasons. The first is that it will be "less embarrassing" if I "fail" or have short term setbacks. The second reason is because I know that I will face more spiritual warfare and enemy resistance in my own walk if I help others to go where the Lord is taking me--and it will be a long slow journey for me to get there even without the extra enemy attention.
But the bottom line is that the Lord has told me that I should take others with me as I learn what it means to truly put my eating under His lordship.
My Story
Most of my life, I wasn't overweight. In fact, I was athletic and trim. I did not start putting weight until my late 30s, and I was a very physically active person until about the time that I started getting overweight. Even when I started putting on weight, it came on slowly, so my "self-image" was still that of a thin person even after I became seriously overweight.
I should also mention that I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia when I was in high school, and had been controlling in through diet restrictions most of my life. The restrictions were relatively simple--avoid sugar and even the very sugary fruits. If I had any sweets, it was physically addictive to me, sort of like alcohol is to an alcoholic. For the most part I was pretty good at controlling it, but if I would "give in" just once to the temptation to have sugar or a dessert, I would become immediately physically addicted and end up eating it uncontrollably for weeks (or even months) until I could work up the will power to stop again. And when I had the sugar, the hypoglycemia would kick in and make me weak, sick, and irritable.
There is a spiritual component to my journey as well. I had become a believer in my freshman year of high school (1971) when I accepted Jesus as my "Savior." But I had no idea that He was supposed to be Lord as well. I lived the Christian walk in my own strength for years and failed miserly, stuck in defeat and besetting sins. I backslid in my late 20s and I married an unbeliever in my early 30s. Then I came back to the God, and this time He told met that He had to be "Lord" and "Master," not just "Savior." I told Him that I was willing to do that if He would teach me what it means. So we began our journey together.
One of the first things He did was to tell me that He wanted Lordship of my eating, and that meant to avoid sugars. So I endeavored to give Him lordship in this area--and I was mostly successful for a few years. Then I was on a trip to Canada and some friends took me out to dinner at a nice restaurant. They wanted me to have dessert and I explained my "restriction" of no sugar. But the dessert looked so good, so I prayed and asked the Lord if I could have it "just this once." I don't know if it was God's voice or my own heart speaking to me, but I thought that He said it was OK "this once." The physical addition didn't kick in the way it normally does, so I started making exception after exception until I was "trapped" again.
Back then, God had only given me one eating restriction--to avoid foods that contain a lot of sugar. But, like Eve in the garden, I gave into temptation and became "trapped" in eating sins. It wasn't a one-time mistake for me, but a series of bad choices. But I did eventually become trapped. I began to gain weight and my eating got out of control.
Later on, I repented and did my best to avoid sugar...and was successful for a few years. But I remained overweight. I tried all sorts of diets and had that same "lack of success" that most dieters experience. And each year I seemed to gain another 10 to 12 pounds. Then in 2001, I went on a "weight loss fast" and got back down to a very trim size 6. I stayed there for a while (maybe 18 months), but eventually fell back into bad eating habits (especially too much fatty foods) and gained back everything I lost, and then some.
Then in March 2005, the Lord began releasing some words through me about this being the time for the church to get in shape physically and health-wise, and that He was releasing a "grace" on the body of Christ for that. I tapped into it, and starting dieting and working out, and again I lost a bunch of weight and got back down to a trim size 6. But my strategy relied more on the gym than on the Lord. Even though I had tapped into God's grace for weight loss, I was doing it more in my own strength than in His.
I went on a mission trip late that year, and came home very sick. I could not work out because I was so sick. I stuck with my "eating strategy" for a while, but it was "unreasonable" and not "maintainable" and I eventually went back to my old eating habits, which brought me back to my old weight. Again, I gained back everything I lost, and a bit more besides.
Early in 2009, I started feeling uncomfortable with my weight (I was now heavier than I'd ever been in my whole life), and I tried all sorts of "diet" strategies, and got nowhere. I even toyed with the idea of weight loss surgery...but my insurance company said I wasn't quite fat enough to qualify for it. (Thank God for that!)
Then I had a "healthy" lifestyle change. I fostered a litter of puppies for a rescue organization in January of 2009, and we ended up keeping one of the puppies. As he got older, it became necessary to join my husband on his nightly "dog walk hikes" because he couldn't handle 3 dogs on his own. That forced me to start exercising again on a near-daily basis, which was a good thing.
Then I tripped across the peertrainer online weight loss site in June, and decided to join it. I found a Christian group on their system (that limits groups to 4 members). We all used the phrase "putting our eating under His lordship," but what I was really referring to was just looking to God to help me keep my diet and loose weight. A couple of weeks later (on June 30), I was praying and journaling, and God rebuked me. He said that I was claiming to put my eating under His lordship, but I hadn't really given Him lordship at all. He challenged me to really give Him Lordship over my eating, and I decided to take Him up on that challenge. If you would like to see what He said to me, I have enclosed it as the next article in this series (Article 2).
Once I decided to "really" give Him lordship of my eating, God brought me into a season of grace as He began to show me what it meant to walk that out. The emphasis became about Him and not about weight loss, but the pounds were coming off. I dropped ten pounds in the first 3 weeks and I was hardly trying to do so. I was walking really close to Him and He was really strengthening me. He also helped me to develop a reasonable (e.g., healthy and nutritious and do-able) eating strategy, which was much more fruit and vegetable intensive than how I'd previously been eating. I have been on this "journey" for 8 weeks now, and have a total weight loss of 12 to 12.5 pounds.
I have hit a plateau the past two weeks and I have been bouncing up and down between the same one-half pound over the last 2 weeks. At first, I thought that maybe I had somehow blown it, so checked in with Lord. But He told me that putting my eating under His Lordship is NOT about loosing weight per sae, and I shouldn't use weight loss as the measurement. It is about giving Him Lordship. Part of what He wants to do is to make me eat healthier. So He asked me if I'd been feeling healthier and having a good energy level and sleeping well. The answers to His questions were yes.
Then He explained that I had to be careful not to make this only about weight loss, or I would be back to the place where I was just looking to Him as a "diet aid" instead of truly giving Him Lordship over my eating. He also told me that the weight loss I desired would come over time, and that He would be making additional small fine-tuned adjustments to my eating. But I need to put my focus on Him (not on weight loss) and I need to concentrate on giving Him lordship.
In the meanwhile, He has been putting in on my heart to "take others with me" on this journey to learn how to truly give Him Lordship over my eating (and exercise and fitness). I told Him that I am not ready because I haven't arrived yet. I am still a long ways from the BMI and weight that He designed my body to be healthiest at. But He told me that it is not about my "having achieved," but about the journey and about focusing on His Lordship in this area. So He gave me this vision of "his-lordship"...an online community consisting of an email list, a chat room, a bulletin board and some helpful articles. And I am in the process of putting it together as I write this article.
I should also mention that the "warfare" has gone up for me as I work to make the his-lordship site a reality. It has been a bit harder to eat the way I should, and I have gained back one pound just in the three days that I've been actively putting this site together. There as been a real temptation to not "go public" and not step up to a higher level of spiritual warfare...after all it is a big enough struggle to really give Him lordship over my eating without attracting extra "resistance" from the enemy.
But again, the Lord has reminded me that it is about giving Him lordship in this area--not about avoiding warfare or choosing the "easiest" possible route. Right now, He is asking me to make my journey public, so I can help others get started on a similar journey of their own.
That is what I am doing by launching the "his-lordship" program. It will probably grow and evolve over time, and hopefully it is structured to provide a support system to help each of us be successful in our quest to truly give Him Lordship over our eating and fitness.
Starting Your Own Journey
For each of us, our focus must remain on the Lord (and not on the ultimate weight loss goal that so many of us have in the back of our heads.) I believe He will get us to our goals, but only as we truly learn to make Him Lord and Master of our eating. And that is precisely what I am inviting you to do: stop right now, and make a commitment to give God lordship over your eating and fitness.
Here is a simple prayer you can pray if you'd like to do this:
Lord Jesus, I would like to give you Lordship over every area of My life. Right now I bring the area of my eating and fitness to You. Please take control over this area and bring Your glory into it. Lord, I am not sure I know what it means to truly give You Lordship in this area, so I ask that You would please teach me what it means and that You would please help me to walk this out.Lord, please come and be Master over this area of my life--I give it to you and I give you complete control in it. And as You show me Your will in this area and what you want Me to do, I will do my best to obey You in it. But Lord, I am weak and cannot do this in my own strength, so I ask You to please teach me how to tap into Your strength. I know that You will help me with this, and I thank you Lord.
Amen