Encountering God

Sometimes God comes to us in His manifest glory and speaks to us with a voice of thunder, like He did when He asked the children of Israel to enter into a covenant with Him. We find that story in Exodus 19:16-19:

16 Then it came to pass on the third day, in the morning, that there were thunderings and lightnings, and a thick cloud on the mountain; and the sound of the trumpet was very loud, so that all the people who were in the camp trembled. 17 And Moses brought the people out of the camp to meet with God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain. 18 Now Mount Sinai was completely in smoke, because the Lord descended upon it in fire. Its smoke ascended like the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mountain quaked greatly. 19 And when the blast of the trumpet sounded long and became louder and louder, Moses spoke, and God answered him by voice.

Basically, God showed up with power and glory, and with other tangible manifestations of His nearness. The earth shook and there was thunder and lightening and thick smoke, and it must have been very scary. Then when He spoke, His voice was not only audible, it was so loud that each of the many thousand people gathered around the mountain all heard His voice with their own ears. It was loud and clear and very distinct. Every person there knew that God was speaking to them and they had no doubt about what He was saying.

There are times when God's voice is clear and distinct like that, but it doesn't happen that often. This is NOT God's usual way to communicate with His people, because people tend to get really scared when God shows up in His power and glory. Look at the people of Israel's terrified reaction to God's speaking to them in Exodus 20:18-19:

18 Now all the people witnessed the thunderings, the lightning flashes, the sound of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they trembled and stood afar off. 19 Then they said to Moses, "You speak with us, and we will hear; but let not God speak with us, lest we die."

The truth is that God's unveiled glory is overwhelming and the sense of His holiness is very terrifying. In fact, our human bodies are not able to withstand a direct face-to-face encounter with Him. We know that because there was a time when Moses asked God to show him His glory, and God told him, "You cannot see My face; for no man shall see Me, and live" (Exodus 33:20).

Why would God say something like that?

God loves us and He doesn't want to terrify us when He interacts with us. He had that consideration for Moses, who probably walked closer to God than most of us will ever will. God knew that if He showed Moses His unveiled glory, Moses would die of terror. Now, Moses dying before his time would not present a big problem for God, because He could easily raise Moses from the dead. It would have been possible for Him to grant Moses' request and show him His face, let him die of terror and then raise him from the dead. But God did not want to terrify Moses in that manner because He loved him to much to scare him like that.

God loves each of us in the same way, and He doesn't want to terrify us either. That is why He masks a large portion of His glory and of His manifest presence when He interacts with us.

Personally, I didn't want Him to do that. I loved Him and I was hungry for His presence, and I wanted to see Him with my own two eyes. I used to think that we (modern day believers) were getting the raw end of a deal that the children of Israel made with God in Exodus 20:20 when they asked that God not speak to them directly anymore. I used to think that I'd rather see God's unveiled glory, and if it struck me dead before my time, so what? God could just raise me from the dead so that I could keep serving Him. So I asked God to show me His glory, like He did for Moses, except that I also wanted to see His face.

God responded, "How about if I just show you one tiny piece of My glory instead? What if I show you a little bit of My unveiled holiness?"

I thought that would be a great way to get started, and I was eager for Him to do that for me. But when He actually did it, I experienced such terror that I had a complete change of heart.

God started small with me, being much more gentle than I asked Him to. He showed up in my prayer room one day. The room doubled as a guest bedroom, and I was kneeling by the guest bed and praying. Suddenly the room was flooded with a very bright light and there was this sense of His presence all over the room. It wasn't at all like I expected it to be. I became very aware of His holiness and, by comparison, of my own lack thereof. (It is easy to think we are walking in holiness when we compare ourselves to others...but when we compare ourselves to God, we become painfully aware of our inadequacies in that area.)

I had expected to be wrapped in His amazing love and to have a wonderful encounter with God. But instead I became increasingly aware of my sin in comparison to His perfect holiness, and I was scared out of my wits. It is hard to describe the terror that came over me. I literally jumped up, opened the door and ran out of the room.

The Holy Spirit asked me why I was running away. I did not want to-- at least my mind did not want to. I wanted to be near God so badly. But I was so overwhelmed with my own carnal sinful nature that I could not endure the very thing I had begged God to give to me. God's holiness is hard to describe when you haven't experienced it directly. It gave me a whole new understanding of the phrase, "The fear of the Lord." I used to think that phrase had to do with respect, not with actual fear. But I changed my mind when I experienced the actual holy terror of His perfection in my weak and carnal physical body.

The truth is that God can be scary. If He wanted to, He could just unmask some of that glory in our church services, and terrify us into a higher level obedience. But He doesn't want the type of obedience that comes out of fear--He wants the type of obedience that comes out of a love relationship. He wants us to obey Him because we love Him (John 14:15), not because we are afraid of His holiness. So He masks a lot of His holiness and a lot of His glory from us. And instead of showing up physically in our prayer room to speak audibly to us, He usually speaks to us in more subtle ways.

The reason He does that is so that He won't terrify us.

There are times when He gives lifts the veil and gives us brief glimpses of His glory.

After I recovered from my earlier encounter with His holiness, I began to seek Him on that again. Only this time I prayed that God would send an angel to hold me and prevent me from running away when He showed up. To my surprise, God answered that prayer a few months later.

I will tell you about it in our next lesson.