What Happens When We Die?

[This is part 2 of a vision described in lessons 6 to 12]

God brought me back into the vision and I found myself in the hospital room. That sensation of being heavily medicated came over me again and sort of dulled my senses a little. I felt like I was just waking up from a nap. I opened my eyes and one of the intercessors from my church was sitting next to my bed, praying. I guessed that she was praying for me.

She looked at me a bit startled. "Teresa?"

"Yes." My voice was very weak, it surprised me just how weak it was.

Then she said to someone else, "Hey, Teresa's awake." Suddenly three people were crowding around the left side of my bed and trying to talk to me. They were all friends and intercessors from church. My husband was not in the room at the time. A fourth person came from the right side and bent over my head. I did not recognize that person but he had a nice smile. His voice was almost musical when he spoke to me, "Teresa, it is time to say your goodbyes and wrap up your affairs now. You will be coming home very soon."

"Huh?" Who was this person and why would they say something so unusual to me? The person did not answer verbally, but it was like he spoke directly into my thoughts. I heard, "I am an angel and I will be bringing you home."

"Do you guys see the angel?" I asked.

My friends asked questions like "What angel?" or "Where?"

The grogginess was lifting and I was able to think more clearly. I realized that they could not see what I was seeing. I did not think I was hallucinating, it was more like I was seeing in the spirit. As I thought that, the angel smiled and nodded his head at me. Then he motioned towards the door. My eyes followed his gaze and I saw two warrior angels standing at the door with their swords drawn. I did not have to ask for an explanation. I knew they were protecting me so the enemy could not harass or torment me in my final moments on this earth. Somehow that was very comforting.

I began to talk to my friends to "close out my affairs," which included giving instructions on some ministries I lead at church and making arrangements for someone to take over leading GodSpeak. I also got to say goodbye to my friends. This lasted some time and various friends came in to visit me during the next few hours. Each time I looked at the door to the hospital room, I could see the two angels stationed there. But each time I asked my friends about it, none of them could see the angels.

I found out that I had been unconscious for a few days. I did not feel pain from the brain cancer in the vision and I guessed that God was supernaturally sparing the pain for my last few hours on earth. That seemed so good of Him. I could not help it, I just closed my eyes and worshipped Him for a while. My friends took the fact that I woke up from the coma and was lucid as a sign that I was being healed. But the angel told me that I was not being healed, that this was just a grace from God to say goodbye and a chance to get some of my affairs in order. I silently debated whether or not to tell my friends that, and decided against it.

My husband came in and my friends left so we could have some time together. Hubby is not very good with hospitals and he did not want to stay in the room very long. I knew he loved me a lot, because even though he has a "thing" against being in hospital rooms, he was coming daily to visit me. I knew that was hard for him and I loved him more for doing it. After about half an hour, my husband said goodbye and left the hospital room.

The angel who had leaned over me earlier was at my bedside again. He took my hand and just held it. I felt this wonderful peace. "I guess I am ready," I said. "Is it time to go?"

"Not yet. Your mother is on her way. God wants you to speak to her before you go, so we will wait for her."

Wow. God was so considerate. I could just feel His love pouring into me.

Then the angel said, "Your mother is still about 20 minutes away. Why don't you use that time to pray and to prepare yourself to go be with Him forever." It was a suggestion, not a command.

That was a bit of a problem for me. Part of me knew I was in a vision and that I wasn't really dying. I wasn't sure it was OK to pray in the vision as if I was really dying. So I stopped and asked God about it.

"Teresa, why don't you just tell Me what you would want to say to Me if you knew you really were going to die in a few minutes."

"Well, I think the thing that would be the most important to me is to make sure that I am covered in the blood of Jesus and that I've repented of all of my sins. I would want to be right with you, Lord, just before I came to meet you face-to-face for real."

God kind of laughed at me. "You know what, Teresa; it doesn't work quite the way you think it does. When you belong to Me and your heart is after Me, Jesus' blood is continuously washing and cleansing you, often before you formally repent to Me about it. You see, 'confessing your sins' doesn't mean you have to recite all of your sins to Me each time you do them. What it means is that you come into agreement with Me that you do have a sinful nature and that you need the blood of Jesus to cleanse you from all unrighteousness because you can't cleanse yourself apart from Him. Then, as long as your heart remains yielded before Me, and as long as you are fully committed to obey Me whatever I command you to do, there is a cleansing flow that always covers you. You do not have to confess each and every individual sin in order to be forgiven of them. The cleansing and purity come from what Jesus did on the cross, not from your individual acts of repenting for each sin."

I wasn't quite sure what to say to Him. I had a strong inner witness as He spoke those words and I knew they were truth. Then He continued, "The reason I am telling you this is so that you don't have to be afraid to come before Me even if you don't have a chance to formally repent from something you have done. I don't want you to be afraid to come before Me."

Suddenly I felt so safe before Him. I knew that the blood of Jesus had been applied to me and there was nothing the accuser could accuse me of. There was nothing to separate me from God and I felt so loved and accepted. It seemed like God was wrapping His arms around me and it felt so good. I thought to myself, "This must be what heaven is like."

"Not quite," God replied. "This is only a small piece of it. Soon you will experience more of what it is like."

After a while my Mom came into the room and I got to have a conversation with her. She is not a believer and I had one last opportunity to share my faith with her. We talked for a while and then the angel came to me and said, "Are you ready?"

I suspect that was a rhetorical question. I don't think I would have been given any extra time if answered "No." But I will never know for sure, because in the vision I felt very ready and I nodded my head in the affirmative.

OK, now this is what the actual moment of death felt like in the vision. The angel bent over me and scooped me up into his arms, as if he were carrying me. One hand was behind my back and the hand was under my knees and my head and shoulders were resting on his chest. It seemed effortless for him to pick me up, as if I did not weight anything. All the sense of grogginess from being medicated left me and I felt incredibly refreshed. The two warring angels at the door looked at me and made a saluting gesture with their swords. Even the air somehow seemed sweeter. I felt like I was still breathing, and I took in a deep breath. There is this sweet fragrance that I sometimes smell when I am strongly in God's presence, and I smelled it at that moment. While all of this was going on, it was as if someone dimmed the lights and the room went dark. But it wasn't a bad sort of dark or a scary sort of dark, it was very peaceful.