What Happens When We Die?

[This is part 3 of a three-part write-up of a vision of martyrs and Heaven.]

Suddenly our attention was caught back to the throne. It seemed as if the church scene with the black-clad terrorists martyring believers was appearing on the platform again. The lady who had just been martyred said to me, "Oh, I need to go," and she began walking toward the platform. She took two or three steps and suddenly she vanished before my eyes and reappeared on the platform standing next to the four others who'd died for the Lord. I was reminded of a passage in Acts 8:36-39. In that passage, right after Philip finished baptizing the Ethiopian, God suddenly transported him to Azotus, the next city (some distance away) where he was to preach. Someone had used the word "tele-transported" to describe how God instantly relocated Philip from one location to another. I thought to myself, God just tele-transported her back to the platform. I wondered if people traveled that way a lot in Heaven. I glanced to my right to see if the angel was going to answer my unspoken question, but he remained silent.

I began to focus my attention to the scene before the Lord's throne, where another saint was about to lay down his life for the Lord. Right then, the angel said to me, "This is not for you to see at this time, but I have something else to show you."

All of the sudden we (the angel and I) were transported to be right next to the bottom step of the platform where the Lord's throne was. We were so close to it that I wanted to reach out and touch it, as if touching the step to His throne would somehow allow me to experience more of His glory. I just wanted to be closer to Him. But that was not why the angel brought me there.

We were not in the same scene as before. The martyred saints from earlier in the vision were no longer on the throne, but were standing before it, not far from where I was standing.

Two angels had a hold of one of the black-clad men who had been martyring believers earlier in the vision. I don't know how I knew it, but I understood that some amount of time (weeks or maybe years) had passed. Each angel had hold of one of the man's arms and then escorted the man to stand just before the first step up the platform to God's three thrones. The man was clearly terrified. The angels were not harsh with him, but they also made no effort to comfort him. They were not unkind, but they were very matter-of-fact. There was a space cleared around the man and the two angels who held him.

The man looked terrified, but at the same time, he looked weak and unable to stand on his own. I am pretty convinced that if the angels had let go of him, he would have collapsed to a heap on the floor. The Lord's attention turned to him, and the rest of Heaven's attention followed the Lord's gaze. Every eye was focused on this man.

I don't know how to explain it, but it was as if God suddenly turned up the intensity of His manifest holiness. When we'd been worshipping earlier, I was mostly aware of God's love and His goodness. But that changed in an instant, and the sense of God's holiness began to swallow everything else up. I don't think it bothered the other people and angels around God's throne, because all of them had been perfected. But I was still in my carnal body.

The more I became aware of God's holiness, the more I became aware of my own sin and shortcomings. I felt terrified just being near the radiance of His holiness, even though I knew His attention was not directed at me. I found myself silently pleading to be covered by the blood of Jesus. I was pretty close to nonfunctional and must have looked like a blithering idiot. I started to collapse in a heap before the Holy One, but the angel held me up. He blew gently in my face and I felt strength pouring back into my legs until I was able to stand on my own again. I think that might have been symbolic of the Holy Spirit breathing His strength into me, but I am not sure. At any rate, the angel kept hold of my left arm to support me, just under my shoulder.

When the Lord began to speak, everything shook like an earthquake and a strong sense of His power emanated from His throne. I remembered the verses in Revelation about voices sounding like "thunder" or like "seven thunders" and I thought that was a pretty accurate description of what His voice sounded like at that moment. (John 12:29, Revelation 6:1, Revelation 10:3-4, Revelation 19:6).

I was so terrified at one point that I hid my face in the angel's shoulder. The angel let me stay there a few minutes, then he gently took my chin and turned my head to look at the black-clad man. He was clearly more terrified than I was, and with very good cause. He did not have the blood of Jesus to cover his sin, and he was the subject of God's judgment attention. That was not a good place to be!

"What do you have to say for yourself?" The man was too terrified to speak, but it was as if I could suddenly hear some of this thoughts. He was very puzzled because he expected to go to Paradise for his "services" to his god. But instead of standing before his god, he was before the living and true God, and that God was not at all pleased with him. He began to mentally review his "services" to his god (some of which seemed like terrorist types of activities to me). I am not sure, but I think he expected God to be impressed by them, but He was not. I know I felt appalled by them and I wondered if that was what God was feeling. Then the man began to think about all those times he had prayed and observed religious ceremonies. He had been faithful to drop what he was doing and face the right direction and pray three times a day. God was not impressed by his faithfulness and He said, "Those prayers were not to Me and I do not receive them."

The angels let go of the man and he fell face-down before the Lord. He seemed unable to move. He did not even raise his head to look at God. He seemed to be much more terrified than I was and he was whimpering and sobbing.

I cannot remember all of the thoughts the man had or all of the words that God spoke to him. I was so scared myself by the manifest holiness of God that it was hard to pay full attention to everything that was going on. I don't know what I would have done if I did not have the blood of Jesus covering my sin. (Even when I thought back about it to write it up for this lesson, it was too intense for me and I had to take a few breaks while writing this portion of this lesson.)

The man was held accountable for the blood of the martyrs who he had helped to kill. They were present and standing beside him as God held him accountable. He was judged for a lot of other things as well. Then, since he did not have the blood Jesus covering his sins, he was sentenced to eternal separation from God. He was screaming and crying and whimpering as they took him away.

By the time they took the man away, I was in tears myself. I am not sure if I was crying out of sympathy for him and the sad destiny that awaited him, or if I was crying out of my own fear. I was concerned that the Lord might turn His attention to me next. I was so keenly aware of His holiness and of my own sinful nature and of how far short I fell of His mark. The last part of the vision was very hard for me because I saw a side of God that really scared me--the Holy God and the Righteous Judge.

Then all of Heaven began to worship the Lord again. I wanted to join in, but I could not--I was still terrified. Then Jesus caught me away to a quiet place where it was just me and Him. He told me that what I saw was for unbelievers and my own judgment experience would be quite different; it would not come from a place of terror and fear. He told me it wasn't time for me to experience my final evaluation yet, But when I did, it would not be a bad experience, because I was His.

Then He sort of turned down the manifest holiness and turned up the sense of His love and goodness. I was not fully in the vision any more, I was sort of in a place of quiet-time worship now, only His presence seemed stronger and more tangible than it usually does.

After a little while His presence lifted and I was sitting on my sofa where I had been when the vision started.