What Happens When We Die?

I was out on the missions field in India in December of 1996 when I received a phone call from the States that my father had died. Actually, the call did not come to me, it came to the team leader, Scott. We got a call at about 3:00 in the morning. It was from someone in Hyderabad relaying a message to us that had been called in to them from the States, because we could not receive international calls where we were. A few moments later Scott, our leader, walked into the room where I was sleeping and said very bluntly, "Teresa that call was a message from your family, relayed through our Hyderabad station. Your father has died unexpectedly and your mother wants you to come home right away for the funeral."

It was very blunt and his wife immediately began to chide him for not being more gentle and loving when he delivered that news. But the impact had already hit me.

I have to admit that my first response was disbelief. I thought that maybe someone had made a mistake. It was a hard blow because I had last seen my Dad three days before I left for India and he was not a believer at that time. I did not think that God would allow the devil to take my unsaved father's life while I was actively serving Him on the missions field. The thought crossed my mind that God had not taken care of me by allowing my Dad to die while I was out serving Him. I don't think that was my own thought. I think the devil tried to suggest it to me, and I immediately rejected it. I told myself that I was God's servant and He had a right to demand whatever He wanted to of me and He was not obligated to do any specific thing for me in return. I do remember silently praying and recommitting to Jesus' Lordship in my life, no matter what negative things I might face in serving Him.

I am not going to go into all the details of this story, but I do want to share a few highlights that give you an insight into how God takes care of His own when He calls one of their loved ones home.

I was not able to get in touch with my mother by phone for a day because we were too rural for an international phone line. So I had to rely on the Lord for information. The first thing He did was speak to me through Scripture that my earthly father had received Jesus and was now with my Heavenly father. One of the Indian nationals who was traveling with us was a prophet. He came to me later that morning with a word that did not make any sense to him: "Rest assured that even though circumstances look otherwise, your father is indeed in Heaven with Me." The prophet thought that was a weird word because he assumed that since I was a missionary, my parents must both be believers. But it was a real confirmation of what God had been speaking to me through His word, and it comforted me greatly.

God was so faithful to reassure me about my father's eternal destination when I was in the middle of nowhere and unable to talk to my family. When I got home from India, there was evidence to confirm what the Lord told me, that my father had indeed accepted the Lord shortly before he died. God is good to us and He takes care of us. We may not understand it all at the time, but when we look back we will be able to see His hand on our situation.

Now back to my reactions. At first I was just numb. I thought that I should be crying a lot because that is what people do when their loved ones die. But I hardly cried at all the first two or three days. We made arrangements for me to leave the team and go home early so I could attend the funeral. But God told me to stay with the team and I obeyed Him, so we cancelled those arrangements and I not get home until eight days after my father died.

The full impact of the loss started to become real to me on the two-day flight home. I found myself crying a lot on the plane, and I was embarrassed to be crying so much in public. I told the Lord that I was sorry I was being such a wimp. God's reply surprised me. He said, "Teresa, it is fitting and proper for a daughter to grieve the loss of her father." I was shocked. God not only condoned grieving the loss of a loved one, He actually felt it was fitting and proper. Wow. That sort of gave me permission to grieve my father and release the emotions that needed to be released.

As the flight continued, God began to speak to me some more about this. He said that He would like me to invite Him into the grieving process and He would like to walk along side of me in it. I thought that was a great idea and I took Him up on His suggestion. There were times when He comforted me with a supernatural peace and there were times when He allowed me to feel the grief. I was amazed at how involved He was with me in it, and I was also amazed at what a source of strength and comfort He was to me.

I asked Him about it--He was up in Heaven and my father was with Him, so He could not possibly feel sad about this. Was it really OK for me to be sad? Just how did God feel when He looked at my heart during all of this? God reminded me that when Jesus got to Lazarus' house and saw the sorrow of the mourners, He wept. Jesus knew that He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, so it wasn't sadness at Lazarus' loss. The thing that moved Him to tears was the grief that Mary and Martha felt at the loss of their brother. God's heart really is tender and compassionate towards His own when they lose a loved one. I realized that He was not "tolerating" my pain, He was feeling it along with me.

When I got home, I was surprised to find that they had delayed the funeral. The funeral parlor had some new technology to store the body an unusually long time. The funeral happened two days after I arrived home, ten days after his death. That was a mercy of God--I thought I'd missed the funeral by staying with the team in India, but I got to attend it after all. The funeral provided some closure for me, it let me know that it wasn't some mistake. My father was really gone.

After the funeral, God began telling me some things that really surprised me. He started telling me a little bit about what my father was doing in Heaven. I had not asked Him for this information, He just volunteered it. That really freaked me out and I had to double-check and triple-check my hearing. God explained that when a person dies, they are able to watch the lives of those who are still on earth if they want to. Many are so taken with the splendor of God's presence that they want to focus all of their attention on Him. But some do want to watch the lives of their loved ones still on earth.

I had a few theological problems with what God told me, so I asked Him to please confirm it to me. He told me that He talked about "so great a cloud of witnesses" in the New Testament, and that was what He was referring to. Still skeptical, I got out my concordance and looked for the passage. Sure enough, it was right there in Hebrews 12:1. "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..."

I took finding that verse as a confirmation that God was really telling me something about Heaven. Apparently, deceased saints are free to watch the goings on in our lives if they want to. Apparently my father desired to do that, and from time to time he was watching my life.

Then the Lord told me something that blew me away even more. He said, "Since your father did not serve Me when he walked this earth, He wants to minister now. The service that he has taken upon himself is to be your intercessor. He is praying for you from Heaven." I immediately rejected that, saying it sounded too much like Catholic theology and could not possibly be God. I got rebuked for that. Apparently God doesn't like negative remarks about the Catholics.

A little later the Lord explained it to me this way: The living are not allowed to initiate contact with the dead. That is strictly forbidden in the Bible. We are not allowed to "pray" to someone who has died and ask them to pray for us. We are not allowed to use mediums, hold séances, etc. Likewise people in Heaven are not allowed to initiate contact with those of us here on earth unless God explicitly tells them to, which only happens very rarely. (One examples is Saul contacting Samuel by séance, which is forbidden. But God actually sent Samuel back to that séance with one last judgment word for Saul. That story is recorded in 1 Samuel 28:6-19.)

Anyway, people in Heaven are free to watch our lives and to pray for us if they desire to do so.

I hope I haven't blown anyone out of the water by sharing this stuff. When God first told me that, I was pretty sure I would never tell another living soul what He said to me, because it sounded "weird." I did not want to get accused of having bad theology, of falling off the deep end, etc. But from time to time when I was comforting someone who had just lost a loved one, I shared those three things God told me with them:

• It is fitting and proper to grieve their loss and God would like to be invited into the grieving process and walk along side of them in it.
• After someone goes to Heaven, they are allowed to watch the lives of any of those of us still on earth if they so desire. Some get so caught up in God's splendor and glory that they lose all interest in what is going on in earth, but others do choose to become part of that "great cloud of witnesses" to watch what God is doing in their loved ones' lives.
• People in Heaven are allowed to pray for people here if they choose to do so. We on earth are never allowed to contact them to request prayer, but they are free to pray for us if they want to.

The things God told me when I lost my Dad really comforted me. Those same things have been a comfort to some of my friends who have lost their loved ones. It is my hope that they will also be a comfort to you if you have recently lost a loved one.