What Happens When We Die?

[This is part 5 of a vision described in lessons 6 to 12]

That reminded me of this pressing concern I had when I was alive. I had read in the Bible that the Holy Spirit is in us for our entire life on earth. I could not find anything that said He remained in us after we died. I was concerned that I might be "short-changed" after I died and the Holy Spirit was not indwelling me any more. I remembered the many times I had prayed and told Him that I did not want Him to leave me when I died, I wanted Him to live inside of me forever. I loved the fellowship and access that His presence gave me and I did not want that to go away.

I knew that He was hearing my thoughts as I thought them. I was starting to get used to that now and realizing that I did not have to speak verbally to be "heard" here in Heaven. Well, what about it Lord?

"I am not inside of you right now Teresa, but doesn't our communication feel the same as it did when I was?"

It did feel the same, but I had another concern at that instant. "Wait a minute Lord. This is just a vision, I haven't really died. So You are really inside of me right now, which is why it feels the same."

"Teresa." There was a hint of rebuke in His voice. "Do you think I would lie to you? Do you think I am capable of lying?"

"Of course not, Lord. Sorry."

"Let me explain what is happening to you. Right now I have separated your spirit from your physical body for this vision. You will be returned to it. You will not be allowed to stay in Heaven forever at this time. But at this instant, you are separated from the body and the sinful nature. That is why you were able to worship Jesus unencumbered earlier in this vision."

Of course, He was right. God is always right, but I got such an inner witness to what He was saying and it all made sense to me. But the Holy Spirit was not interested in pursuing the mechanics of how God orchestrated this vision. He was interested in going back to His earlier point.

"Teresa, right now you are experiencing Me just like you will experience Me when you really do go to Heaven. Right now at this instant I am not inside of you. But it feels the same, doesn't it?"

Yes, it did.

"You see, My indwelling believers on earth is to give you the same access to God that you will have in Heaven. When you do get to Heaven, the mechanics of how I implement it will change, but the experience will be the same. You will never have less access to Me in Heaven than you had on earth when I lived inside of you. In fact, you will have more, because I will take you to new depths of revelation of Who I am, just as I did with you a little while ago."

Wow! It was so nice of Him to pull out of the vision for a little bit to address one of my biggest concerns. I imagine my concern sounds silly to a lot of people, but I was worried that I would somehow get short-changed when I died and the Holy Spirit was not living inside of me any more. I loved the access I had to Him while He lived inside of me and I did not want that to go away. What a relief to find out that it would not!

I felt so loved and so well-taken-care-of by the Holy Spirit. It was so wonderful just being in His presence. After what seemed like a long time, He said, "OK, now it is time for you to spend some time with the Father."

I had a sense of Him taking me by the hand and leading me over to where the Father was standing. The Holy Spirit gave my hand a quick squeeze and then placed it in the Father's hand. Then the Father scooped me up in His arms and held me. Part of me was afraid of Him because He was the "head" of the Trinity, the top boss. He just held me close and allowed that to drain out of me. I became aware of His goodness, of His love, of His playfulness and of just how wonderful He was. After quite a long time of just holding me, He said, "Well, Teresa, aren't you glad that you let Me take you into this vision after all."

My first response was out before I could stop it. "Hey, that is cheating! You are talking to me about the vision while I am in the middle of experiencing it."

God's voice was full of laughter and He was not at all upset by my reaction. "Teresa, by definition I can't cheat. I am God and I can do whatever I want to do. Again, by definition, anything I choose to do is good and right, because I am the standard that defines what is right."

He was right! Somehow that struck me as funny and I could not stop laughing. For the longest time, His joy just flooded my being. After a while I became aware that I was in the Father's presence and I thought that I should be honoring Him and giving Him my full attention. I tried to stop laughing, but I could not. So I tried to apologize to Him for laughing instead of paying attention and respect to Him.

"Don't worry about it, daughter. I am the One who is flooding you with this joy and laughter. Don't resist Me in it."

That was like getting permission to have the best time of my life. That went on for a very long time and it was wonderful. After a while, God said, "Teresa, there are times when I want solemn respect and in those times that is what you will give to Me. But there are also times when I just want to play with My kids, and that is what we are doing right now."

A little while later, we played a game called "Do you remember?" My part was to think back to a neat experience I had with God, or a time when He came through for me in a wonderful way. I would tell Him about it from my perspective (and there was a lot of worship that went along with that.) Then He would open my eyes and show the same thing to me from Heaven's perspective. I could see His plans and purposes in each situation and how they worked for my overall good. I could also see both angelic and demonic activity going on behind the scenes. I could see the Father's delight when I responded well in a difficult situation, such as trusting Him or choosing to obey Him, or in just allowing myself to be lost in His presence when He wanted to reveal more of Himself to me. I would find myself worshipping Him more and more as I saw God's attention and His activity in each of these experiences.

Gradually God the Father let me see more and more of His glory. I know that if I was still in my carnal body, I would have been terrified by His glory and by His holiness. But at that moment, it was impossible to be afraid of the Father because He had been loving on me so much. He had been so good to me when I was in sin and rebellion, so how could He possibly do anything bad to me now that I was completely yielded to His will? I got a chance to see more of Who He is and to seem more of His glory, and I felt safe before Him because He was pouring His love on me.

"Ok, Teresa, now you are ready to go back before My Son and be judged."

I wasn't afraid when He said that. I knew that before I would have been afraid, but now I was sure that God would be fair and merciful and good and just. I also knew that I would not be condemned no matter what He chose to look at. If He found faults in me, He would transform me so that I did not have that bad trait anymore. I was going to be perfected, and I found myself actually looking forward to it.

My surroundings changed. I was now standing on the gold platform I'd described in my earlier vision. This time there was only one throne on it and Jesus was sitting on that throne. I was facing Him and not looking around, but I had a sense of a lot of people gathered around the platform and watching what was going on. Part of me knew they were there, but most of me did not care about them. My attention was focused on Jesus.

"Teresa, I want you to know that this is not about punishment. It is about reward and it is about purification. You will find that I have many rewards for you. You will also find that you have many shortcomings that need to be transformed, that you might be perfect before Me. We do both of those things at this time."

I stood before Him with my head bowed in respect. I was surprised that I was not afraid, I had always imagined that this would be a very terrifying time for me. I could think of many times I had fallen into sin, of many things I had said or done that had not pleased God. I knew I was about to be held accountable for them. But I simply could not be afraid. I had experienced God's love toward me and I knew He was going to take good care of me. He would do whatever He needed to do, but in the end I would be in a better place and I knew I was going to be worshipping Him for what He did to me at this judgment. I was flooded with His peace and I felt ready for this.