Getting Me Ready to Minister

It all started for me over two years ago with an altar call at the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship's one year anniversary. Wes Campbell was preaching on the great commission and spoke in great detail about the cost that is involved in this commission -- being willing, if necessary, to lay down our lives for Jesus to share the good news. He told the story of a group of missionaries in Africa who had their funding cut during the midst of a bad famine. They knew that without funding, there was a very real possibility that many of them could starve to death. They had the option to go safely home. But they prayed about it and felt that God had called them to be there. So they elected to stay even if it cost them their lives. In fact, out of 30 families, 13 men and 16 women and children spent their lives to share the gospel. But as a result of their sacrifice, over 500 churches were planted and many came to know Jesus.

The sermon went on to a call to our lives. Are we willing to be so committed to the Lord that we are willing to allow Him to spend our lives to build His kingdom? Are we willing to overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony, loving not our own lives unto death?

Well, the Lord spoke to me very powerfully during that sermon and He started speaking to me about missions. I knew I was to go, but I had no idea how -- I'm married to an unbeliever. They had an altar call for those who God had been speaking to during the sermon. I went up. As I stood there, I remember asking the Lord to show me how on earth to do this. It all seemed so impossible. Then He started giving me a strategy -- since I have one week more than my hubby of vacation each year, I could use that. He told me to start saving up my money for a trip, so I did. He told me that He would be bringing me to the land of my ethnic background, which I assumed to be Israel at that time. (I'm Russian Jewish on my Mom's side and Lithuanian/Latvian on my dad's side.) So I started saving in January of 1995 towards what I thought would be a trip to Israel. About June, He started speaking to me that it was to Russia, not Israel. Then the doors opened up to go with Mike Enos and Randy Clark to do the Catch the Fire in Moscow. So many things clicked in my spirit and I knew that this was the trip God had called me to.

About three weeks before the team was to leave, I had a bad ski accident and hurt my neck rather seriously. I was put on all sorts of medication, had physical therapy three times a week, had to wear a cervical collar and was on disability for two weeks. And I was in a lot of pain. But God continued to speak to my heart that I was to go on this trip. I fully expected Him to heal me before we left. Well, a week before we were to leave, my doctor told me that I could not go to Moscow; that I was not well enough and could injure myself even worse. But that same night someone who did not really know my situation had a prophesy for me: "Do not think that this will hold you back from Russia, for I have called you there and I will take you there." Two weeks later, my pastor and some friends spoke to me and told me that maybe this injury was God's way of telling me that He did not want me to go on this trip and they advised me to follow my doctor's recommendation. But I had such a strong certainty in my spirit that I was to go. So I said I'd pray about it. As I prayed, the Lord gave me this verse: "...they were healed as they went..." (Luke 17:14). So I believed that God would heal me on the way to Moscow -- probably on the flight.

Well, my neck seemed to get much worse just before the trip. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights it hurt so bad I could not sleep at night. But Friday morning I got on the plane. The flight from San Francisco to New York was excruciating. If it was not for Kathleen helping me, I don't think I would have made it. In fact, it hurt so bad that I briefly toyed with the idea of getting back on a plane to San Francisco instead of going on to Moscow. When we joined up with the rest of the team at JFK airport in New York, I was really hoping that Randy or someone else from the team with a healing anointing would pray for me. Mostly they all just said, "Oh, how did you hurt your neck... looks painful."

On the plane two team members from Tennessee came over and prayed for me. I thought for sure, "Oh, this is it. God will heal me now." But not much appeared to happen, except that the muscles surrounding the injured area were a tiny bit less tight. Somehow I was able to sleep most of the flight out so I guess the Lord was doing some healing. We got to the hotel and had dinner. The next morning was Sunday and my neck felt much better. I decided to go with a small group to "Igor's church" which was about a 2 hour commute from where we were staying. On the way home from that trip, someone accidentally slammed into me really hard on the Metro and my neck got really painful again.

Well, late that evening (around 9:00 p.m. or so) we had an orientation for the ministry team and interpreters while the worship team continued to practice. After that, they had the team pray for the interpreters. God came in power and touched people Then we started praying for each other. At one point Annie (a missionary to Moscow) and her two daughters started praying for me. A fire came on my neck and I started shaking violently. Let me assure you that after three weeks of a bad whiplash and neck pain, the last thing in the world you want to do is to start shaking under the anointing. Then my head started whipping from side to side as if I was emphatically shaking it "no!" I realized this should be hurting like crazy and that I was moving my head way beyond the range of motion that I'd been able to do lately. But it did not hurt and His power was all over me.

I had been kneeling when they started praying for me and somehow I ended up on the floor flat on my back. I continued to shake under the power for a while. As I was "out under the power," my mind started reviewing the day. I had struggled with rejection my whole life until about 2 years ago when the Lord delivered me from a spirit of rejection in Toronto. But something that really hurt me had happened earlier that day, and I'd been struggling with rejection issues all day long. Odd that is should not bother me for so long and then come up with such intensity when I'm on the "mission field". The Lord spoke to me that He loved me very much. He even sent someone over to pray that over me. That warmth continued on my neck and it did not hurt. God seemed to surround me with His love. When I got up off the floor, I felt dripping full. The team was standing in a circle interceding for the meeting. I went over and joined them. Pretty soon it broke back into ministry prayer and we started praying for each other. I spotted Bill, the fellow who'd accident slammed into me on the subway and made my neck hurt worse. I knew how bad he felt about that accident, and I wanted God to fill Bill with His joy.

I never even touched Bill. I just made splashing motions at him and asked God to saturate him with His joy. A few minutes later, Bill was laying on the hardwood floor and laughing his head off. I continued to pray for Bill for a while, felling saturated with the Lord's presence and dripping full.

After I stopped praying for Bill, the Lord directed my eyes to Richard Holcomb and told me to go have him pray for me. At that time, I did not know Richard from Adam. I had no idea he Randy's prophetic friend who God had used to tell Randy to "Try Me now" to show up the night before Randy went to Toronto in January of 1994. All I knew was that when I'd seen him pray for people at Igor's church that morning, no matter what the prayer request was, his approach was to do deliverance. I had him pegged as one of those fellows who saw demons everywhere, where they were there or not.

"Lord," I said, I don't want him to pray for me. "He'll end up trying to do a deliverance on me."

"Teresa, go ask Richard to pray for you."

So I walked up to Richard, who was talking to Kathleen. I said hello and was just about to ask him to please pray for me. Just then John came up and spoke over me and asked Richard to pray for him. So he did. He did not do a deliverance type of prayer, but a very powerful type of releasing and equipping prayer. He took a short break to get Annie to join him while Kathleen was soaking this person. So I asked Richard if he'd pray for me when he was done with John. Richard nodded. But when they finished praying for John, he sat up and asked Richard to pray for his pastor Russ next. So Richard did. Each of these prayers took about 20 to 25 minutes. So I waited, figuring I'd be next. But then someone else came up and Richard grabbed that person and started praying for them.

Now I was beginning to struggle. I knew God wanted me to have Richard pray for me, but it simply was not working out. I started struggling with rejection a bit, figuring I'd be passed by all together. I found myself crying out to the Lord. He told me to just keep waiting.

They finally finished that prayer and I asked Richard again if he'd pray for me. Well, Annie asked at the same time. He started praying for Annie instead. I'd already "clicked" with Annie and really liked her and wanted to bless her instead of worrying about getting prayer. But in the back of my mind I found myself suspecting that I was going to be passed by all together. It was getting very late and everyone except the small group with Richard had already gone back to the hotel.

"Lord!" I silently cried out, "Are You mad at me? Have I done something that I need to repent of? What is going wrong here? Please either talk to me about this or help me!" I was starting to really feel rejected.

They finished praying for Annie and someone said it was getting really late and maybe we'd better get back.

"Richard," I said, "Do you have time to pray for one more? Me."

"Of course." He said, and took my hands. "What do you want prayer for." So I told him how I'd been struggling with rejection that day.

"Oh, that's a spirit of rejection," he said. "It came in generationally on your father's side."

I knew it! This guy saw demons everywhere. I sighed. I'd waited all this time and now he wanted to do a deliverance type of prayer on me. But I'd had deliverance in Toronto two years ago and was convinced that I could not possibly need it again. Besides, Richard got it wrong. The spirit of rejection had come in on my mother's side, not my father's side. And we'd already dealt with that! I sort of struggled silently with my feelings and then told the Lord that I was not very happy about this. Was He sure He wanted to have this Richard fellow pray over me??

I finally told the Lord that since He'd sent me to Richard I would "submit" to whatever Richard wanted to do and trust God to protect me from anything that was inaccurate or inappropriate. Then I realized that I was having "an attitude" and that was probably not a particularly good way to ask the Lord to help me. So I told the Lord I was sorry and something inside of me clicked and I was able to open up to ministry from Richard. He started having very accurate words of knowledge about my mother not wanting to be pregnant. About then I'd recalled a dream I'd been having recently where these giant knitting needles kept coming out of the darkness and poking at me and trying to hurt me. About the same time as I remembered those dreams, Richard started praying to break the power of any attempts the mother may have either made or have considered making about trying to abort me while I was a baby. I started having a violent manifestation type of reaction. I instantly recognized that this was NOT the Holy Spirit moving on me. I did not like the feeling of being controlled by anything other than the Lord, so I prayed silently that I wanted only the Lordship of Jesus Christ in my life and would not accept any other spirits ruling over me.

Richard was busy breaking various things and taking authority. I was more of a spectator. I remember the Lord's presence surrounding me and He began reassuring me that He loved me and was not angry with me. I felt a peace wash over me. About then I suddenly remembered a prophesy that David Roch had sent me (via e-mail) the night before I left. Enclosed is the relevant part of that prophesy:

Just one other thing -- Jesus will finish a healing the area in which holds you back (you are OK) says the Lord (you are wanted and loved) you are !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A GOOD GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Immediately after that, Richard started explaining that this spirit had been there all my life but the Lord kept in in check until He sent along someone who knew how to deal with it. Up until that point, I'd assumed that the "thing which held me back" was my neck; a physical injury. But I began to see how the subtle workings of this rejection issue popped up from time to time even after the major power of it had been broken off of my life a few years ago. I began to see how it might get in the way from time to time and that the Lord wanted to call me into a freedom to minister for Him without this thing lurking in the background and causing "little misunderstandings" from time to time. This all fit together now -- and also fit with a prophesy the Lord had given me via David before I left. I began to realize how the Lord had orchestrated this evening and had allowed the problem to manifest so I would be willing to deal with it.

Then Richard prayed some blessings over me and prayed for the Lord to heal my neck. As he prayed for my neck, I remember thinking that this may be a redundant prayer since He'd done such powerful things when Annie and Angel (Annie's 16 year old daughter) had prayed over me earlier that evening. But I'd already learned my lesson about judging (or should I say misjudging) the people who God had pray for me.

But there was no pain when I slept that night. The next morning the muscles were NOT all knotted up, but normal. Only the point of the original muscle rip was a bit sore. Everything else felt fine. So, I skipped my pain killers and muscle relaxant. But I took my anti-inflammatory medication because it did not have the undesirable side effect of making me feel "doped up". I did not seem to need my neck brace anymore, so I packed it in my suitcase and went down to breakfast without it. Aside from a slight pain where the worst of the muscle tear had been, my neck and shoulders felt totally better.

The Lord did heal me before the conference started! Praise His name!!! (This was just one of many healings He did at the conference, a "first fruit" if you will...)