I am so touched I am almost crying. I am not sure where to start...

Last Sunday night I was praying and asking God to speak to me about the upcoming South Africa and Ithaca conferneces and to show me what He is doing in those areas and in my own life/ministry. This is part of what He told me:

Teresa, you have asked me to speak to you about NY and about SA, and you have done well to ask, for I have much that I will show you. Daughter, this is the time to lay down the skepticism, the wondering if God really said that. For what I am about to show you will offend your mind, violate you natural reasoning, but it shall be my truth and I shall reveal it to you.

You shall go forth in me. This is a season where I refine your hearing. where I teach you to know my voice at a level and clarity that has previously eluded you ... And it will be counter-intuitive. It will seem like you are walking off of the deep end and taking a plunge. So these next three days are your season to check in with me and ask me to prevent you from going off of the deep end -- Monday through Wednesday -- for on Thursday I will begin speaking to you in a manner that is new and different and what I have to say will startle you ... for you shall know with a certainty that it is my voice.

You can bring this to me and ask me about it and ask me to prevent you from doing this or hearing this if infact it is not my voice. I am giving you a gift of three days so that you can settle your spirit and quiet your fears and know that I AM going to speak to you. And I am going to show you things that will amaze you, for I will bring forth a new work in you. Teresa, the level at which you hear my voice is about to go way up. If you fear that this is your own heart speaking it's desires, then bring it to me ... And bring this conversation to me and ask me to confirm it to you, or to correct it. And know that I surely will, for I am faithful.

As you can well imagine, I spent a lot of time on Monday through Wednesday checking in with God in the manner He suggested. I asked the Lord for a scriptual precidence for what I heard (above paragraphs) regarding checking perpareing myself to hear from Him at a specific time that He designated. He brought me to Exodus 19, and I spent the whole of Wednesday evening studying that and researching the key words from the passage: consecrate, sanctifiy and Holy. God spoke to my heart greatly as I studied and sought Him.. all towards preparing to hear from Him thursday (today).

I am not sure what I expected... an angelic visitation, maybe the Lord appearing directly to me?? When I went to bed last night, I work a sweatsuit (so I would be dressed incase I had a divine visitor) instead of a nightgown. I wanted to be prepared .

Well, I woke up an hour later than usual. God's presense was very real and very tangible, but only in the manner He usually meets me.. nothing unusual, and no divine visitor. So I shot up a quickee prayer asking God if He really meant it when He said He would meeting me on Thursday, and reminded Him that today was Thusday. Nothing unusual. I KNEW that I KNEW that I KNEW that it would either be God or nothing.. that He was faithful and He would prevent me from being deceived into "hearing" from either the enemy or my own heart and thinking it was Him. But now I was afraid it might turn out to be "nothing.." which would have been a very big disappointment for me, especially after the last three days of concentrated preparation.

I checked my email.. nothing unusual there. I got in the shower, remembering how God had commanded the Israelites to "wash themselves" before they met with God in Exodus 19, and hoping for a divine visitation in the shower. But that did not happen.

I normally check the Ministry PO box on thursdays, which adds about another 40 minutes to my commute to work. Since I was already running an hour late, I decided to skip that. But as I sat on the BART train, I was strongly prompted to go check the box. (I had invited the Lord to orchertarte my day, so I decided I had better obey that prompting.)

Now, I have to give a tad of background, or this next section may not make sense. I hate fundraising but had been instructed by the Lord to ask the prophetic-school list (one of the lists under the GodSpeak ministry) for help with the expense of airline tickets to send two members of the prophetic-school leadership core to speak/minister at a prophetic conference that the prophetic-school list was helping to sponsor in Capetown South Africa. The tickes cost almost $3,000 and a grand total of $175.00 had come in from the school in the month following two fundraising letters. Also, the womans' group from a local church that I ministered at took up and offering for me and supplied another $300.00. I felt a bit bad, as if no one really appreciated or valued the prophetic-school ministry. When I mentioned it to God, His reply was "I value it, so keep pouring yourself into it just for my sake, because I want you to." That was enough for me, so I purposed in my heart to not worry about funds at all and to borrow money from my long term savings and loan it to GodSpeak to cover the immediate expenses of the tickets... I needed $1500 at the time. So I did that, about a week ago. I figured that if the money came in, the ministry could pay me back and if not, it would become a donation. I kinda expected it to be the latter .. (a donation).

I got to the PO box, expecting it to be empty.. after all, it looked like it was going to be a disappointing day (since God had not met me and spoken to me). I opened the box and was surprised to find several envelopes... all containing offerings. (I opened them on the BART train on the way to work). Many of them had notes sharing how much the prophetic-school had been ministering to them and how they valued it.. the notes were as much of a blessing as the checks! I started lookintg at the checks and was truely amazed at the amounts.. some coming from people I knew and who were clearly giving sacrificially. Tears came to my eyes. I was so touched.

At that moment the Lord spoke to me in a manner that I call "Deep to Deep" communication.. where His spirit drops something into my spirit.. not using words but a "deep knowing" and clarity, and there is there assuredness/certainty that it is God. He assured me that the ministry I was doing was of Him, that He would provide the money for the trip to South Africa, that He was leading my steps and directing my path and that I was in the center of His will and that the ministry He had give me to do was of great value. I realized that this was the "meeting" He had been preparing me for, these past three days. It happened in a manner totally contrary to what I expected. I am very "touchy" over finances, I don't like to ask people for donations and I don't feel comfortable with ministries that are always pressuring people for money.. Yet God used the offerings/donations to speak to me... I guess that was what He meant when He said, "For what I am about to show you will offend your mind..." becausing tieing money to God's anointing is very offensive to my natural thinking.

If that was all God did for me regarding meeting and speaking to me, that would have been enough and would have been well worth the three days of preparation. But God assures me He has much more for me.. not just today, but continuing on as He speaks to me more and more clearly and distinctly.

I expected that if I added up all the checks, they would come to the $1,500 I had lent to the ministry.. God spoke to me again and told me that was not the case, but that He was not done providing either, and that more checks were physically in the mail and "en route" to GodSpeak. (When I got to work, I added them up... $1,230!!)

As I walked from the BART station to work, I ran into a woman from a Tuesday night group I am in.. it is a secular group and gives me exposure to non-christians. This lady is very nice and I like her and it turns out that she only works a block from where I work.. so we are going to start getting together for lunch a few times a week.. wow.. God is opening more doors for me.. cuz it is out of building relationships with people that He begins to manifest Himself to them and win them. This is the second "big open door" he has orcherstarted for me with unbelievers in less than a week... and as I walked away from my chance meeting with this lady, God dropped in my spirit that He was going to open many doors for effective evangelism, which is a big desire of my heart.

I am still so touched by the support and encouragement that came in from some of the folks on the propehtic-school list. God orcherstrated the contributions arriving late and at the same time to speak very clearly to me.. to affirm my calling and to encourage me greatly. I want to say a big "thank you" to each of you (you know who you are) who were involved in this...and I know some of you gave very sacrificially.. and I know God will bless you for it.. and I am about to start crying again, so I think I better stop typing now.

One last thing, God told me that He is going to continue speaking to me very clearly and very distinctly today.. He is not done yet. I am not sure if I will be able to share all that He says, but I am so excited at the ways He is meeting me. God is SO awesome!