What Happens When We Die?

[This is part 3 of a vision described in lessons 6 to 12]

The angel stood by my bed for a few seconds, just holding me. "Am I dead?" I asked.

He sort of laughed and said, "No, now you are truly alive and no longer encumbered by your physical body with its sinful nature."

"Do I get to go to Heaven now?" I sort of pictured God's throne in my mind's eye and looked forward to seeing it "for real."

"Yes, but it won't be as you expect. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

I figured he'd fly upwards to heaven with me in his arms or something like that. But he did not move at all. The surroundings around us just changed and we were suddenly in Heaven. The closest thing I know in the natural to describe it would be the transporter beam from Star Trek. Only it was quicker than that, there was no fading in or out. We were just suddenly in another place and Jesus was there. Everything around me was bright--so bright that I could not make out specific details. The angel said, "Don't worry, your eyes will adjust and you will see all the details, just not immediately."

I was actually a tad disappointed. I had always imagined how wonderful it would be to finally see God face-to-face. Now I was there and I could not see His face at all because His glory radiated all over the place and all that my eyes could make out was a very bright light surrounding me. But I felt myself being handed from the angel to Someone else, and I "just knew" that Someone else was Jesus. Jesus was holding me cradled in His arms the same way the angel had been holding me. I felt very loved.

Time does not pass the same way in Heaven that it does on earth. Things can seem to go on for a very long time and at the same time seem like they are just a quick instant. So I don't know how long Jesus held me like that. At first all I was aware of was His love.

God's love surrounded me. But gradually I became aware of His glory and of His holiness, and that was a bit scary. I realized that this same Jesus who was holding me would be evaluating my life, holding me accountable for everything I did and said when I lived on the earth. Different theologians use different terms for that, such as the "works judgment," etc. I refer to that as Jesus judging His own. I realized that Jesus would be judging me, probably right about now. A surge of fear ran through me. I remembered many of my faults, shortcomings and sins. I thought about how repulsive I must seem to Him. I knew that Jesus was looking at me and seeing my thoughts. But Jesus did not give any indication of being repelled by me. He continued to hold me close and He did not push me away at all. I was still in His arms and I felt very vulnerable there. But at the same time, I also felt safe and secure.

When Jesus spoke to me, His voice was full of melody and life. "Teresa, it does not happen quite the way you expect. Yes, I will judge you, but not until you are secure in My love for you. You will find that My judgment does not come from a place of anger but from a place of My great love for you. My judgment will transform all of the areas where you fall short. It is not something to be feared and I won't allow you to enter into it until you are fully secure in My love for you."

I thought to myself, "Wow, that might take a long time."

Jesus obviously heard my thoughts as if I'd spoken them out loud, and He laughed at me. It was the kind of laugh that is contagious, and before long I was flooded with His joy and laughing too. He was still chuckling when He answered my thought.

"Teresa, from all the rest of Heaven's perspective, our entire encounter will only be a brief instant. But from your perspective, it will be much longer than that. You may as well get used to it. Time as you knew it on earth doesn't apply any more. I can zero in on you and take as much time as I want with you in what will seem like a blink of an eye to everyone else. I do that a lot with all of My creation, giving you each special moments with Me. You will get what seems like My undivided attention while another is getting it as well. I am bigger than you can imagine. You will spend the rest of eternity searching Me out and getting to know Me better, and you will take great delight in this process. But you will never fully get to know all of Me, for I am bigger and more vast than you can possibly imagine."

"And yet You love me!" I was filled with awe for Him. I spent some time just worshipping Him. At first Jesus just received my worship. It flowed forth from me as it had never flowed before. There is something different about worshipping free from that carnal sinful nature. Wow, you can go so much deeper into Him that way. And the deeper you go, the more you cannot help but being in awe of Him.

At first I was aware only of Him. But gradually I became aware of many others around His throne, both angels and believers who had died. They were all worshipping Him along with me. There is something that brings your own worship deeper as you share it with others. Suddenly I was part of a large chorus worshipping Him, and just being a part of that drew me even deeper into worship. I felt this unity and a sense of being loved and accepted by everyone there. The focus was all about Jesus (and He well-deserves to be the focus), but in the midst of worship I also felt this warm sense of belonging with all of my fellow creation.

It is sort of like when you are a fan at a sporting event, cheering for your team. There is something about everyone else there joining you in cheering for your team too, it somehow adds to it. That is what was happening in worship. Jesus was incredible and deserved every fiber of my worship. But somehow I was able to go even deeper and worship better as I joined my worship with the worship of the others around His throne.

After a while, Jesus began to interact with me. That took me to even greater depths of worship. It is sort of like at church, at first you think about Who He is, and you start to praise Him. But at some point, He comes in some tangible way and you are in His presence, and that brings your worship to an even deeper level. It's like that in Heaven when Jesus interacts with you as you worship. No renewal meeting and no prayer encounter here on earth can even begin to compare to what it will be like to worship Him free from our carnal/sinful nature in Heaven.

I have no idea how long this worship went on. I never had any sense of being bored or fatigued by it. I did not want to stop, and could have kept going. But Jesus began to make commentaries on my praise in a playful sort of way. I had just gotten through saying, "Lord, You are so magnificent." He replied, "Yes, I am." I started to laugh at His joke. I piped in, "And modest too..." which is a tease we use commonly on earth when someone says something positive about themselves.

But Jesus was not being immodest and He was not teasing, He was merely stating truth about Himself. He truly is magnificent and He knows Who He is. God does not have false modesty, He knows precisely Who He is. There is this bare truth and honesty in Heaven that it would take me a while to get used to, because on earth we are so taught to conceal truth at times to act in ways that are socially acceptable. But truth is one of God's characteristics, and in Heaven everything is truthful and straight forward.

I was concerned that He might take my tease as being disrespectful. I felt sort of upset with myself and a bit horrified at the thought of having been disrespectful to God...especially while He was holding me in His arms. But before I could process those feelings, Jesus ruffled my hair and let me know that He was not upset. I realized that was part of what He meant about me becoming secure in His love for me.

I thought about the process of being made fully secure in His love for me. I asked Him, "Lord, how long will this take?"

"As long as is needed." He replied. I got a sense that He was not in any sort of hurry at all.