Soul Ties (December 24, 1996)

There are both Godly and ungodly soul ties. An example of a Godly soul tie is the joining together of a man and woman in marriage, the sometimes close bonding of sisters and brothers, the joining of David and Jonathon (Saul's son). In short a godly soul tie is when God has ordanied a relationship and blesses the people with some time of "cords of love". The tie in these types of relationships tends to be selfless -- seeking the best for the other person in healthy ways, not trying to restrict them because of our own needs, etc. It is like there is a supernatural blessing or empowerment on that relationship because God has ordained it.

There are also ungodly soul ties. That is where the enemy empowers a tie between two people that God has NOT ordained. The most common way this occurs is through premaritial or extra-maritial sex, though soul ties can come in other ways. I ended up in an ungodly soul tie with a blood sister -- we became blood sisters in junior high school. I moved 400 miles away when I started high school and never saw her again. In high school, she got into drugs. She eventually spiralled downwards and committed suicide. (I did not hear about this until my college days.) But in high school, I started getting strong suicide desires and not wanting to live any longer. I struggled with this for a few years. Eventually I had deliverance ministry, and a spirit of death was evicted. Enemy empowered soul ties tend to use one person to hold another person back from being who God has ordained them to be, to be a source of bondage. It is as though the enemy has a legal right to oppress or torment person 2 because of a sin that gives him a right to oppress/torment person 1. In short, the enemy gets more excuses to harm/oppress people -- not just your own sin and/or unforgiveness, but also that of the person you have a soul tie with. Enemy empowered soul ties involve spiritual and often emotional bondage on a person and are usually entered into via some form of sin.

There are also human empowered soul ties. These are deep relationships we form with others that are not empowered by God and they are not empowered by the enemy. God has given us a strong capicity for love, because we are made in His image, and He has a strong capacity for love. Depending on the relative emotional health of the individuals involved, this can be either a healthy or an unhealthy thing. I have a deep friendship with a woman named Faye. We met at church in 1974 when I was still in high school and became friends then. We were roommates together a few times. She came to my wedding. She came to my grandmother's funeral three years ago. She came to my Dad's funeral a few days ago. I've been there for some significant events in her life. We are a source of support and encouragement to each other and will always be friends. We fall in and out of touch with each other, based on what is going on in our lives. We live an hour dirve apart. We always exchange christmas gifts and talk to each other on the phone whenever anything significant happens in either of our lives... and sometimes when nothing special is going on. When we are in touch with each other, the deep and instant friendship is always there. I believe this is an example of a healthy human empowered soul tie. There is a tie between us. I believe it is a normal healthy type of friendship, not supernatually ordained by God but certainly blessed by God. There is mutual edification and building up of each other in Christ. We do not restrict each other or hold each other back in any way. We do not use each other to meet some personal inner deep needs. But we genuinely care for each other and are a source of support for each other.

Some human empowered soul ties are not so healthy. The come in all different forms, but one of the most extreme cases of an unhealthy soul tie is a co-dependent relationship. There can be demonic empowerment in a co-dependent relationship, but that is not always the case. A co-dependent relationship is where one person cannot function on their own, but has a deep and not healthy emotional need that they must have met by another person. There are many excellent christian counselors that minister into this type of relationship on a regular basis. I happen to be friends with someone who is a professional counselor AND also does deliverance ministry. She treats a lot of people with co-dependency problems. She says that in a lot of cases, there are not demonics involved in the codependent person she is ministering to, just deep emotional needs. She helps these people start looking to God to meet their needs instead of to another person.

One last note, it is possible to have an ungoldly soul tie on top of a godly one. I have ministered to people who have a wrong/unhealthy relationship with their parents. In those cases, it was necessary to break any ungodly soul ties and to bless the godly soul ties that belong between a child and their parent.

Blessings.

- teresa