I had been to India in Nov of 1996 and again in Nov of 2000. Both times God did amazing things. I was scheduled to go again in Nov of 2001, but in early August, God spoke to me and told me not to go that year. He knew all about the upcoming Sep 11 tragedy which would drastically effect international airline travel. God also knew about the ensuing war between India and Pakistan but at that time, I was unable to imagine any of these things. All I knew was that God was speaking to me to cancel my trip to India, even though I had already made a commitment to come. I hate to go back on my word, so I really prayed and sought confirmation from God. I finally determined this was His will, so I sent Sharath an e-mail telling him that God instructed me to cancel this trip, though I could not understand why. I sent my apologies and a financial gift of $1000 to their ministry in lieu of coming myself.
God's instruction to cancel this trip did not make sense to me, but I felt I had to obey Him. When the Sep 11, 2001 attack on the World Trade Center and Pentagon happened, then God's instruction to cancel the India trip began to make sense to me. A short war broke out between India and Pakistan shortly after that, I think about the end of October -- I don't remember the exact time, but it was shortly before when my trip had been scheduled for. Then God's instructions not to go to India right then made even more sense to me.
I find that when God gives instructions He expects me to obey, but He rarely gives an explanation about why He gave those instructions. In the aftermath, His instructions are usually designed to protect me -- but that protection is dependent on obedience without understanding His reasons.
Believe it or not, that incident was actually training for the 2003 trip. Sharath wrote again in 2002 to invite me to come, but since I did not hear an explicit "go" from God, I declined the offer. He wrote me again in June or July of 2003. He said that I had prophesied that Vijayawada would open up to them, and it had recently opened up. When he was praying for a strategy for this city, God told him to bring me there. I did not remember giving that prophecy, but there are a lot of prophecies that I give that I don't remember. So I went to God and prayed about it, and God told me to go. We worked out the dates of the trip... the only time I could logistically go would pull me away over the Thanksgiving holiday because I felt I needed to be home on Dec 11 for my husband's birthday. As it turned out, I left the Sunday before Thanksgiving. If I had left a day or two later, the airfare would have gone up by about $400 since November and December are the premium times to visit India -- flying on the last day of the cheaper fare served as another sign of God's hand on this trip. I heard clearly from God to go, so I booked and paid for the tickets (by credit card) in late August, long before the funds had come in for the trip. But God promised He would provide the money for the trip, so I purchased the tickets on faith.
God spent the next few months preparing me for the trip. But from my perspective, it seemed that He was messing with me. I had a lot of day-to-day hardships and issues to deal with -- more than usual. I did not know it at the time, but these were designed to teach me to depend less on myself and more on Him. Then some "old issues" I thought I'd already dealt with began to rise up. There was a misunderstanding at church that caused some old rejection stuff to raise up. As if that were not enough, some other issues surfaced as well. God let me struggle with them for well over a month before I began to seek help in the form of theophostic ministry for some of these issues.
It did not seem fair to me -- I was so sure that I had thoroughly dealt with these issues, how could they be surfacing again? In addition to that, the staff member that I really depended on to help run the ministry resigned and I had to find and train new volunteers to replace her. I also had to write and edit a bunch of lessons to cover the schools while I was away in India. There was so much to do, it was a frantic, busy time -- and a very inconvenient time for issues to rise up that needed my time and attention.
In addition to that, I began to experience physical counter attacks for some healings God had been using me to do. I went through a three-week period where God used me to do a great number of physical healings. But each time someone got healed, it seemed to be a spirit of infirmity that was causing the condition. And each time I cast out the spirit, it would come the next day and attack me. I was experiencing the physical problems people were getting healed from. During that time God used me to heal a lot of severe back pains (the type that is almost crippling). And guess what? I started having all sorts of back problems myself. A week before I was to leave, my back got so bad I could hardly walk or sit or stand. I could not understand why I could not get rid of the spirits of infirmity that were counter attacking me. I was beginning to wonder if I would physically be able to do this trip. And,I was becoming a bit "afraid" to cast out spirits of infirmity because I knew they'd attack me and I did not seem to have the authority to be able to get rid of them when they attacked me. I envisioned myself casting out some blind or crippling spirits in India and ending up with that condition myself, causing me to be emergency evacuated and spending the rest of my life with some serious handicap. That sort of shook me. I took it to God and shared my concern with Him.
In response, God opened my eyes and showed me what was going on in the spirit world. I had just had a battle with the back pain. Each time I would get it, I would cast out the spirit of infirmity. It appeared to get better for a few minutes then get really bad again. I could not understand why I did not have authority over this spirit of infirmity that was counter attacking me. The Lord spoke to me and told me, "The battle is not what it seems." Then God had me look to my left and I saw this really long line of spirits of infirmity standing in line, all of them the type that causes back pain. One of them would jump on me. I would be taken out by the back pain. Then I would take authority over it and it would be forced to leave. Immediately the next spirit in line would jump on me. I would take authority over it and get rid of it as well, but then the next one would jump on me. After a while, I would get tired of taking authority for a while, and would allow the most recent spirit to remain, thinking I somehow did not have authority over it.
God spoke to me and told me the battle really had nothing to do with the back pain, it was not a counter attack by spirits of infirmity I had cast out. Rather, it was a mind game that Satan was playing with me to try to get me to be afraid to heal by casting out spirits of infirmity for fear they'd attack me and I'd not be able to get rid of them. The nature of this attack was deceit. As soon as God showed me the strategy of the enemy against me, then it had no more power over me to deceive. The strategy was foiled simply because I now understood the nature of the attack. I took authority over the entire line of spirits of infirmity and then the back pain was gone. I did not have any more problems with it since then.
The week before I left, God forbid me to watch television and He instructed me to spend a lot of time listening to worship music. This had a very settling effect on me, flooding me with His peace. In addition, I was having better times of fellowship and intimacy with God than I'd had in a long time. The peace seemed to wash away the residue of the issues that had previously surfaced. And God brought some very special prophecies to me. Both had been given to me long ago. But one day while I was praying, God told me to go read the prophecy from Feb 28, which was given to me shortly before my trip to Mozambique. Then He told me to hunt up a prophecy tape given to me by Johnny Foot on June 22 of 1998. He told me that these two prophecies were relevant for "right now" in my life.
So I hunted up the old prophecy tape and I was astonished by what God said to me on it. Among other things, God told me that I must reveal the enemy's battle plans to His generals and leaders and to release mantles from the privates up -- mantles of power and authority and signs and wonders. Little did I know that was God's primary objective for this trip. He also made promises to me of divine protection for me in the midst of the enemy's camp.
The Feb prophecy seemed to speak right to me about this trip. I had been telling some of my friends that I was a bit nervous about this trip, because it was the first time I was going out by myself instead of as part of a team. If there was no anointing on a meeting, then the "buck stops here" so to speak. There was no back up -- only me. I wondered if I carried enough anointing to meet the needs I would see in India. Before the trip my thinking was about me and whether or not I was adequate to minister. On the trip I was to learn that it is really all about God and His adequacy. Let me share the Feb prophecy, as it served as a real source of strength to me during this trip:
Teresa, do not fear that I will send you out and not put My anointing on you. For I say to you that I am faithful and dependable -- that I am with you, that I will send you out and that I will empower you. Child, know that I am pleased with you and that I have called you and I have chosen you. And because you have said "yes" to Me, I will use you greatly. I am giving you real kingdom work to do with Me and I will cause you to raise up many -- both men and women -- to do with Me what I am doing.I have given you an impossible task, but fear not, for I am with you and I will accomplish it through you. Teresa, I love you and I am pleased with you, and I will cause you to move in levels of power and anointing that you have not dreamed possible.
Do not be afraid, Teresa -- for I will take you into some situations that are very frightening -- but out of them will cause such a testimony to arise that the whole world will listen -- and then I shall put My words into your mouth and cause you to raise up many warriors for My kingdom. Yes, you shall have the signs and wonders that you have asked for. Yes I shall use you mightily. And yes, I will give you the ability to impart this into others. It is coming a time to reap with joy -- and yes, you shall see a great increase in both ministry opportunities and in anointing.
For I am calling you to change and mold My church into what I desire it to be. And My anointing shall be on you and it shall flow through you.
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