This missions trip was unexpected and came about very fast. I had been on a ministry trip in Australia and New Zealand through the end of July. While I was gone, the pastoral staff decided to go as a team on Randy Clark's missions trip to Belem Brazil. (I should explain that I am not on staff at my church, but I am an ordained minister and I head a parachurch ministry called GodSpeak International.) The senior pastor left for his three week vacation just before I got back from New Zealand, so I did not hear about the trip until Rodney got back from vacation. On Aug 20, Rodney told me about the trip and invited me to pray about coming along. When he invited me, I did not think I would be going. I had no desire to go to Brazil. There were many different logistical things that would need to be resolved (one of which was that it was past the deadline to sign up for the trip). However, things fell into place very quickly and I had a peace and an "amen" in my spirit about this trip. I found myself signed up for the trip less than 24 hours after Rodney asked me to pray about it.

One of the things God did on this trip was to challenge some mindsets that I had, mindsets that were in error. I addressed some of my personal theology about angels as well as my mentality about authority and finances.

It all started about two and a half weeks before I was to leave for Brazil. I "hang out" with some prophet friends, chatting in IM (computer instant messages) and by phone, by email, etc. We almost never prophesy to each other, we more share and talk and pray for each other and such. Everyone always asks me why prophetic people don't prophesy to each other that often - I don't know. But in my experience with my prophetic friends, we usually don't do a lot of prophesying to each other. Maybe it is because people are always pulling on us for words, so we have a built-in prejudice against pulling on each other for words. I don't know why we don't prophecy to each other very often, but we don't.

So it really got my attention on Sep 4 when Rusty Russel gave me an unsolicited word. It had a paragraph that said:

You are a mighty woman of God and He will do wonders and signs through your life. Do not limit His scope or power in you and through you! Yield to the Holy One, knowing He was sent to help you and guide you into all the truth!

You know how one part of a word can really jump out at you and captivate your attention above the other parts? Well the part that really jumped out at me was the part that said, "Do not limit His scope or power in you and through you." I realized this was a gentle/loving correction, as well as a solemn charge. I realized that God would not tell me not to limit Him unless I was already limiting Him. Of course, He was hitting on a "blind spot" because I did not know how I was limiting Him. So as I prayed through the word, I repeatedly invited God to show me how I was limiting Him and asked Him to help me stop doing that.

That night God awoke me in the wee hours of the morning and told me to sit down and write. He began to systematically address a lot of things with me. He began speaking to me about mindsets and how He was going to change some ones that held me back, that limited me. He also told me that He was going to give me some more prophetic words so that I would receive three in a 24 hour period, all from people who I considered very credible prophets, starting with Rusty's word the previous afternoon. (I don't usually get a lot of prophetic words, so three words in a 24 hour period is a "big deal" to me.)

I went to the GodSpeak post office box on my way to work and I found a tape that Christian International (Bill Hamon's Organization) had sent to me, that contained two prophetic words from two of their "seasoned prophets." I was not expecting to get a prophecy tape from them, I did not know they did it and it was a complete surprise to me. Both of the words on the tape addressed the things God had spoken to me the night before. Isn't it neat how God uses the prophetic to confirm what He is speaking to you personally!

I knew I was in for some really big changes but I did not know what they would look like. Five days later, I got a phone call around lunch time. The secretary from my church called me to tell me that there was a major fire very near my house. I knew that I was in for some changes. I also knew that God was not obligated to protect me just because I was His servant. So I did not know whether or not God would allow my house to be burned down. I left work immediately, but it was over an hour commute home. I wanted to go get my two dogs and evacuate them if they were in danger. I hoped God would spare my dogs and oddly, one of the few material possessions that I worried about was my passport and visa for Brazil. I knew that I was to go on the Brazil Trip (I was due to leave in 2 weeks for Brazil) whether my house burned down or not. I really did not know if God would protect my possessions, but I knew that He'd work His glory in the situation -- e.g., if He let something bad happen to my home/possessions, He would somehow turn the situation around to His glory. I had this supernatural peace over me. I really should have been "freaking out" since I had no idea if my beloved dogs were alive or if I had lost my home and all of my worldly possessions. But I was covered in God's peace and I had a deep confidence that no matter what happened, I was going to end up on that plane to Brazil.

As it turned out, God spared my home and my dogs. The local news reported that it was "incredible" (one reporter even called it miraculous) how the homes were spared from the devastating fire and the fire chief was given a commendation for his outstanding efforts. That night, the Lord rebuked me for not trusting that He would take care of Me. He began to speak to me about how He is faithful to take care of His faithful servants and how it hurt His feelings for me to doubt that about Him. He told me that He had allowed this fire to come close to my home to build my faith in His protection and provision. I had to apologize to Him for doubting that He would take care of me and of the things that are precious to me.

It was precisely eight days later when I was laid off from my secular job of eight years. The company had been struggling for a long time and had already laid off a lot of people and pretty much only the really good, really senior people were left. The timing was bad, as it was only 5 days before I was to leave for Brazil. I had so much to do to get ready for the Brazil trip (I hadn't even purchased mosquito repellent or sun screen yet). And suddenly I was very busy wrapping up things at work. After 8 years, I had a lot of personal possessions accumulated at my office, I wanted to wrap up the technical details and I had personal files to move off of the computer. Because I was so "trusted" I was left with computer access (they did not even change the root password) for 48 hours past my termination so I could move my personal files off of the computer. It took until late Wed night to pack my personal items and get them out of the office. It took me all day Thursday to wrap up the work (get code checked in, documented, etc). I did the Thursday work on my "own time" but I felt that I needed to leave with integrity and to leave things in as good of condition as possible. I spent all day Friday getting my personal files off of the computer. That all kept me so busy that I did not have time to think about things until Saturday morning, when I also had to start shopping and packing for Brazil (we were to leave Monday morning).

I had always known that I was called to ministry, but I always had the mindset that there was "no money" in ministry and therefore it was necessary to work a secular job to pay the bills. I had been working two full time jobs for five years now; the ministry job "to fulfill my calling" and the computer job to "pay the bills." I had been crying out to God for over a year to start paying me for the ministry work I did so that I could quit my secular job. I really did not expect to be laid off from the secular job, but in the back of my mind I wondered if this was an answer to my prayers. Working two full time jobs for five years is very demanding (timewise) and my health was beginning to deteriorate. I knew I could not keep this up a whole lot longer and I expected God to bring a large increase in donations to the ministry so I could quite my job and be supported by the ministry. But as the economy suffered, spontaneous donations had gone down instead of up. And I had a built in prejudice against asking people for money, which made me resist all the suggestions I'd gotten for ministry fund-raising. I sort of assumed I would need to get a new job.

But God spoke to me clearly and specifically not to even think about it before I went to Brazil. I was to concentrate all of my energy and time on getting ready for my trip to Brazil, which would start in just over 48 hours. The Oakland Hills fire incident had given me recent practice/experience in trusting God, so I decided to simply trust Him and not worry about it until the trip was over and I was back home. Who knows, maybe He'd have a job lined up for me when I got home. Maybe I would even meet someone in Brazil who would own a business in the Bay Area and want to hire me? Or maybe God would release such a powerful anointing on me that there would be a suddenly incredible increase in itinerant ministry invitations and I would not need a secular job. I had no idea what God wanted to do.

However, God knew that the trip out would be very long (about 36 hours) and that He would have lots of time to begin speaking to me about this and other things on the plane and during our layovers. He was, after all, still answering my prayer that He show me the mindsets I had that limited Him and that He break me out of them. And God was interested in changing the way I think, of eliminating the mindsets that limit what I will allow Him to do through me. He began talking to me about all of this on the flight out. I will share some of what He said in my following write-ups.

The flight out was a grueling 36 hours, with two long layovers (4 hours in Chicago and 8 hours in Sao Paulo). We were really tired near the end of the trip. However, on the last leg of the trip (from Sao Paulo to Balem), I did get a chance to share the gospel with a high school English teacher named Anna. We started talking because she wanted to practice her English. She seemed very interested in what I shared about knowing God personally, but she did not pray to receive the Lord. She did, however, take my www site and email address and said she planned to buy my book "How to Hear the Voice of God in a Noisy World" and read it.

We finally arrived at our hotel room sometime after midnight.