Encountering God

In our last lesson, I talked about how God masks His presence and His glory from us because He doesn't want to terrify us. I shared a brief encounter I had with God where He showed me a bit of His holiness, and I became so terrified that I ran out of the room. After I calmed down, I was really frustrated at myself for running away from God's presence.

But I remained hungry for God and kept pleading with Him to show Me His glory again. I also asked Him to send and angel this time to hold me and keep me from running away when He came. I prayed that prayer on a daily basis for several months, and then God answered my prayer.

I experienced such terror in the presence of His manifest holiness that I literally turned into a non-functional blubbering idiot. I would have collapsed to a heap on the floor if the angel had not been holding me up. I had wanted to talk to God and interact with Him and tell Him how much I loved Him, but I couldn't. All I could do was to keep pleading the blood of Jesus to cover me, and I was pretty sure that I was not going to survive this experience.

My heart was beating faster than I'd ever experienced before and I having so much trouble breathing that my lungs felt like they were going to explode. I was aware that my body might be dying, but the thing that scared me was my awareness of my own sin and shortcomings. I did not want to face a God in that state because I was painfully aware of just how holy He was and of how much I'd let Him down. To say it was scary would be a huge understatement.

God was gracious to me and did not keep me in that state for very long. God remained with me and the angel kept holding me, but it was like He "dialed down" His holiness and turned up His goodness. He flooded me with a sense of His love and acceptance. I am pretty sure that He told me not to be afraid, like Jesus did to John in the book of Revelation. But I can't be 100 percent positive of that because that experience was so overwhelming, and not all of the details are clear in my memory.

I was so relieved that He "dialed down" the level of His manifest holiness and I began thanking Him for doing that. Then He told me that what I'd experienced was just the very tiniest measure of His holiness, substantially less than what Moses experienced his encounters with God. Then He said, "If you think that was scary, then try to imagine how terrifying it would have been for you if I really did show you My face like you asked Me to."

God went on to explain that He was not hiding Himself from me because He did not what me to know Him better. He said that it was because in my sinful carnal body, I just could not take seeing and knowing Him for Who He truly was. That was why He masked the vast majority of His glory from Me when He interacted with me. Then He explained that this wasn't just for me personally, but that He masked His glory for all of His children. However, the more we cooperate with the Holy Spirit to be conformed into His image and to have our natures transformed, then He can reveal a bit more of Himself to us.

Shortly after that, He gave me this word. For years, I treasured it as a private word to me and I never dreamed I'd share it with anyone. But the Lord is instructing me to share it in this lesson, because this word will also apply to many of you who are hungry to see more of His glory. And for those of you who haven't acquired that hunger yet, perhaps this will help you know what to expect when you do grow into it...

I am about to draw you into a greater depth of intimacy than you have ever walked in before, where you will come to better know Me as I really am.

This will be a frightening time for you, for it is a fearsome thing to come before the very presence of almighty God. Child, know that your sins are forgiven. When you stand before Me and taste of My holiness, you will be overwhelmed with your own sin. Know that each and every sin is under the blood of the lamb and is forgiven and cleansed.

You are going to find that My presence, which you have so desired, is not at all like you expect it to be. It will truly be terrifying for you...but at the same time it will be a time of awe for you. Child, you will go back and revisit these encounters in your mind and you will want to kick yourself for having what you consider inappropriate responses. Do not feel ashamed when this occurs, for I say unto you that it is not possible to come before the presence of the living God and not be totally overwhelmed.

The very fact that I will allow you into My presence in your earthly body is a great honor child, one reserved for those whose hearts are pure before Me. And yet, when you stand before Me, you will be aware of every imperfection and every impurity. And child, you will be horrified with how you will see yourself.

Know in advance that I am not horrified with you. Child, your heart is after Me and it pleases Me. You have been seeing Me through a very thick cloud, through a veil. I am about to lift the corner of that veil and give you a glimpse of My glory. You will not be able to handle it; no human being can. You will be so frightened that you will want to run away from Me. But fear not, I am going to prevent you from doing that; for if you did, you would "kick yourself" over that behavior for a very long time. You will be so terrified and overwhelmed with My glory and My holiness that you will not be able to think clearly.

You have experienced this Fear of The Lord before. You have told yourself that it would be different next time, because the Holy Spirit has so transformed your nature. Well, child of Mine, I am about to manifest Myself to you at a higher level, with greater clarity and greater intensity, and you will find it just as overwhelming as the previous time. Do not be frightened of making inappropriate responses...child, it will not be possible for you to respond to Me in a manner that you consider appropriate, for you will not be in control at all. I will be in control.

You will find that I am good and I am loving and I am full of mercy and grace. At the same time, child, you will find that I am truthful and I am realistic. I am going to examine some areas of your life where you will not measure up. But fear not, I am not coming to condemn you, but to reveal and then to transform. Child, you will feel very small in My manifest presence But know this, I am with you and I am for you and I will cause you to be changed and transformed.

You have told Me that you want to be My friend, to see Me face- to-face. Your heart has longed for this and you have cried out to Me for it. Child, I am granting it to you in a small measure, but you will find that face-to-face I am a very formidable God. You will not be able to stand before Me. Fear not, for I will hold you in the palm of My hand and I will cover you with My wings. Child, the terror that will come upon you will not be to separate you from Me, but to draw you closer.

I am telling this to you now, so that when you have stood before Me and felt the intensity of My holiness and the fire of My presence, you will know that I am pleased with you and that I am going to take you farther in Me than you have ever gone before. I love you child, and you are a cause of great delight to Me.

Sinful humans cannot stand in My presence And yet, as I allow you before Me, you will be transformed by My glory until you become the person who I have destined you to be. I am going to work a true humility in you, a humility that will not resist My call and My destiny on your life. I am going to give you eyes to see and ears to hear at a level that you have never moved at before. I am going to break the fetters of unbelief off of you and I am going to give you a gift of faith that will move mountains I am going to allow you to come to an intimacy with Me that you have never experienced before.

See, child of Mine, My plans for you are good and I am pleased with you. Do not allow fear to overcome you, remind yourself of My character and of My nature and of My faithfulness. I am faithful to fulfill the promises that I have made to you, every one of them.