Early Renewal Experiences: Thu, 23 Feb 1995

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-- © GodSpeak International 1998 --
-- Do not republish without written permission from <ts@godspeak.org> --

learning that anointing is for service,

not just to feel good

Thu, 23 Feb 1995

An interesting thing has begun to happen to me in regards to the renewal anointing.

I have spent about ten monthes soaking in God's presense in the renewal. During that time God has touched me powerfully so many times and changed me and healed me and put me back on fire and filled me to overflowing. I have felt "dripping full" practically all of the time during the first nine monthes.

Lately I find that I've not been feeling as "full" as I had been at first. In fact, I find that I can go to a meeting where the Lord is moving with great power. I may or may not be deeply touched by the Lord at such a meeting. But even if I am deeply touched, it seems like the next morning I'm not feeling "dripping full" any more. This has been going on for about three weeks now.

At first I thought it was just a bad week. But after 8 or 9 days of this, I began to cry out to the Lord and ask Him why I'm not full any more. Didn't all those monthes of soaking in His presense count for anything?

Several interesting things happened.

The first was that I mentioned to a prophetic friend of mine that I have not been feeling "full" lately. She said that the Lord showed her a picture of a full glass. Then He took that glass and stretched it so that it had about 1/3 more volume. Now the same glass with the same amount of water was only 2/3 full. She said that God was expanding me and that was why I did not feel as full.

Then the Lord began to show me something very interesting. He started speaking to me that the renewal was not just so that I could feel full. It was so that I would be equipped to do His business and fulfill His plans and purposes. He started sending me OUT to minister. About 4 days ago, He sent me to the hospital (with a friend) to pray for the sick. I did not feel any particular strong anointing when I went. It was a good experience where we were able to share the Lord's love with some people there, even though we did not see any blatent miraculous healings. But when we left the hospital, the Lord's presense fell heavily on both of us. We felt surrounded by His presense and dripping full. That fullness stayed on us the rest of the day and seemed to be some sort of sign of the Lord's approval for going to the hospital.

The next day, I felt the Lord's presense come on me strongly as I was walking from the BART station to my car, which was parked several blocks away. (BART is our Rapid Transit system). I was surrounded in the joy of the Lord and somewhat drunk in the spirit and laughing alot and singing and worshipping. Later that evening I was talking to someone I co-lead a ministry with. She shared a personal problem and during the conversation the Lord came on me and gave me a prophesy for her. While I was prophesying, the Holy Spirit fell heavily on her as a witness that it was from Him. As soon as I got off of the phone, He fell heavily on me as well. It was as full of an experience as I usually have when I'm prayed for at the renewal meetings. I felt dripping full that night and also when I woke up the next morning.

The next day (Wednesday), I got pretty busy and did not have any time for doing God's business. Though I had felt dripping full when I woke up that morning, the feeling of fullness disipated as the day progressed. When I went to bed that night, the Holy Spirit fell on me heavily. He started speaking to me that its time to be doing His business and that the fullness will come as I do what He is doing with Him. He also told me to be aware when I feel an increase of His presense or His anointing on me and to ask Him what He is doing. He told me that He was going to run me through several drills the next day -- that every time I felt His presense increase I was to ask Him what He is doing.

Today (thursday) is that next day. Sure enough, God's presense has increased on me several times during the day. Almost every time I remembered to ask Him what He was doing. Most of the time He told me that it was a practice. But a few times He told me that I was to minister and sure enough, I received a phone call a few minutes later from someone He wanted me to minister to. This happened a few times. The last time I felt His presense increase on me was about 30 minutes ago, and He instructed me to write up my experiences learning to take the renewal anointing out of the Church. That's what I've been doing -- writing this note. And His presense has been on me very heavily as I do it.

It seems that the way for me to "feel full" now comes from doing what He is doing rather than from soaking in His presense. That is NOT to say that I do not continue to soak in His presense. But it seems that JUST soaking in His presense is NOT enough any more (after 10 monthes of doing so). Now God wants me to be out doing His business under His anointing.

I'm just getting started and still learning and will undoubtedly make some mistakes. But I'm feeling "full" again and there is a real excitement about doing His business with Him. After all, that's what Jesus did. He said, "I only do what the Father is doing, no more and no less." I don't think I'll be as accurate as Jesus was about sensing what the Father is doing, but it certainly is exciting and awesome to start moving in this anointing to do His business outside of the sanctuary.

-- © GodSpeak International 1998 --
-- Do not republish without written permission from <ts@godspeak.org> --

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